As plethora of emotions flood me; a wave of sadness hits me. I don’t know where to begin and where to end. Words just don’t describe how I feel. I could of course analyse, over analyse and keep obsessing over it. None of it find answers. A lot of times, we as humans, want to know the reason behind a specific person’s actions. We spend days, nights and hours thinking. None of it reaps any results. Then begins the part of self doubt, self pity and the phase of low confidence filled with lots of confusion. Someone ditched you? Someone broke your trust? Didn’t stand up for you? Or just abandoned you? You begin to think of the possible reasons, the other person might have had for doing the things they did. You want to know, where did all the love/ trust/ feelings suddenly vanish? Only seldom to find answers.
At the onset, we feel betrayed, hurt, lost, stabbed and even depressed. All smiles slowly fade. Leaving behind emptiness. An oasis of emptiness. You come out of one, only to land in another. You begin to doubt your actions. Maybe, you weren’t good enough, maybe, you weren’t worth the fight. Or perhaps, you lacked something. You look back on every action of yours and try to figure where you went wrong. You think, it is your fault. You begin to doubt yourself and your worth. With which, you cry yourself to sleep on many many nights. Days look the same, you don’t differentiate between the happenings anymore. This is exactly where you NEED TO STOP!
Stop thinking of yourself like that. No, you weren’t wrong. You were always worth it. Some person didn’t fight for you, because the person was weak, not because you were not worth the fight. Darling, you have always been worth the fight. You are worth much more. It’s okay to cry and feel empty. What is not okay is self doubt and self pity. You aren’t allowed to, rather shall not think of yourself lowly. Do-not glorify another person’s inefficiency to not be there for you by putting yourself down. We all, deserve the love, support and respect of another person. If that person chooses to leave or refuses to stand by you, in times of need, then they are the ones at fault. Not you. You are very much worth the fight. You are worth the love. You are worth the respect. You are worth it. Have always been. Will always be. You are worth everything and more. Never doubt your self-worth or undermine yourself.
I would like to end with a line from my favorite author: “Heart breaks are like those pestering advertisement that make you believe a particular product is important for you. They create a false space in you and convince you that it’s your need. That person is not important. You are. There’s more to you as a person and in your life than cribbing for a guy who can only limit you from reaching your real worth. Know your worth.”